Thursday, January 22, 2015

A Letter to a Lady I've Never Met

Today would have been my sister's 30th birthday. She passed away seven years ago in a single car accident on March 1st 2008. Every year on her birthday I have celebrated with dinner, drinks, spa days, anything to try to do something in her memory, but also selfishly make me feel better.

This year I wanted to do something different. A lady I've never met, but who works in the same hospital recently lost her son. I put together a little healing pack and wrote her a letter. I thought I would share this letter on the blog today in hopes of sending love to anyone else out there right now suffering from loss and the pain of grief.

Today I will remember my sister and also think of all others suffering from loss and pain.


Although we've never met, I feel connected to you in way that only someone who has experienced loss would understand.  I could never begin to imagine what you are going through, but I have watched my mother relearn to navigate life the past seven years after losing my sister.

Today would have been her 30th birthday.

I wanted to reach out to you to try and offer some words of hope because I know the journey you are facing is not easy and I still see it in my mother’s eyes. Seven years later, there are good days and there are bad days, but as you go along I hope you allow yourself to never feel guilty for being happy, for laughing, or for going a whole day without being sad. You are still here and that matters to so many people. I hope you allow yourself to feel your grief and take all the time you need to begin your way through the storm because, although you will not be the same person that walked in, you will come out of this with a new understanding of life, loss, and love.

I know that seven years after losing my sister I have a heart that is still wounded, a wound that has and will continue to close over time, but it will always leave a very deep scar that reminds me not only of the journey of life without her, but of her life.
I asked my mother for advice on what I could include in your “healing pack” and she said very soft Kleenex, the advice to allow yourself to stay in bed all day and cry when you need to, and something that smells good because for some time after her loss nothing seemed to smell good anymore.

I hope these small tokens of my love and hope for you can bring you a moment or two of peace knowing someone out there cares about you and what you’re going through.

Your friend,


1 comment:

  1. Oh Katie, what a kind thing to do for someone who is grieving. I am so very sorry about the loss of your sister, and I know deep in my heart she is watching over you and your little girl. You are lucky to have such a guardian angel. Sending you a huge hug.