Tuesday, June 9, 2015

My Truths of Motherhood: 6 weeks postpartum

I am officially 6 weeks postpartum which feels like such a milestone for me because after my cesarean the general timing was that I would start to feel a lot better by 6 weeks and I do!

Scotlyn has started rolling from tummy to her back in the last week too- she does it at least once a day now which is both cute and scary because I still want to be able to swaddle her, so she sleeps good, but I don't want her flipping over in the night... conundrums. I will have to change from my Ollie wraps to the Zipadee-zips (which most babies don't start using til around 4-6 months, so we'll see how she does in them).

As for Motherhood, I found that during my pregnancy mostly what people talked about was how hard it would be. The sleepless nights, the difficulties of breastfeeding, the changed relationship with your friends and spouse, the resentment of the life you left behind. "Your life will never be the same" was the quote I heard most.

Sure, there have been days when it feels like she won't stop crying and when my husband asked to play golf that night I said No, because hell.. being a stay at home mom with a newborn is a full time job and some days it feels like your working back to back to back overtime shifts. Those are the days when I hold it together all day with patience I never knew I had, but the moment my husband walks in the door tears stream down my cheeks and when he asks what's wrong all I can say is, "I'm just so glad your home" and hand him the baby to take the evening shift of pacing the halls, the only thing that stops her screaming on that particular night.

Yes, it is harder to get ready to do anything and takes triple the time to get out of the house.
Yes, I smell like spit up and have to change my shirt and even sometimes my pants multiple times a day and yes, my hair doesn't get washed very much anymore. I've been projectile vomited on in the mall, the dark circles under my eyes are getting harder and harder to cover, and some days I like her a lot more when she's sleeping.

The truth is, I wouldn't change any of it. I love being a Mom more than I ever thought possible. Breastfeeding came really natural for us and I am so thankful for that. My relationship with my husband is about same, but I can see how other relationships could and will change, some for the better and some not. My husband  is thankfully very willing to help when he gets home from work (he's even started doing laundry!). I also make sure that when I need his help I am not afraid to let him know and I try to make sure intimacy still plays a significant role in our post-baby life which I feel helps us feel connected as a couple and not just as parents.

I also had 21 days of live in help and learned lots of tips from my mom, so maybe that kicked start my journey into motherhood because I never had the first month to get too run down, or frustrated, or too exhausted because she did so much for me and I am so thankful for that.

I am also a 100% believer in the theory "nap when the baby naps". The thought of two children kind of terrifies me right now because if she's up at 2:30 and then again at 5:30... when she goes back down at 7am I am snuggled right next to her either on the floor, or in our bed getting an extra hour. If that doesn't happen I am sure to drift off at some point in the day when she does, or else I know I will be too tired to function. So I give huge credit to the moms of more than one child because a baby and a toddler will be so tough.

Scotlyn is now 6 weeks and I feel like it just keeps getting better. This week has been full of real baby smiles and roll overs that just light up my life and even her cuddles feel more real, like she knows I'm her momma. I am so thankful for her.

No comments:

Post a Comment