Labor & Delivery: Scotlyn's birth story

I prided myself on not having a birth plan. I wanted to go into labor with an open mind and with no expectations I wouldn't be disappointed and let me just tell you... thank gosh I had that mind set because what did happen would definitely not have been any part of any plan I could have possibly had in mind.

Even without a "plan" I had imagined my labor and had an idea of how I thought it would go. I was 60/40 on getting an epidural leaning towards having one because my doctor, who is awesome, does them, so I knew I would be in good hands, and I was positive I'd have a vaginal delivery. My husband and I talked about and dismissed the possibility of a cesarean deciding I just wouldn't have to have one. I skipped over the c-section part of every book or blog I read. I guess the one true fault in my non-plan was not planning the possibility of a cesarean.

This is how it all went down.

I asked for a membrane sweep at 39 weeks which was Friday April, 17th. That night at around 3am I got up to pee and lost a big chunk of my mucus plug. Then nothing until the next Thursday when I started having contractions that I could easily walk and breathe through, but were too painful to sleep and I was sure they would get stronger, so I stayed up til 5am pacing and breathing and googling when to know when labor would really start when all of a sudden they just stopped... I couldn't believe it I was exhausted and so frustrated and to top it all off I had the worst cold of my life with the most nagging dry cough.

The next day April 24 was my due date and we went to the doctor and got a 2nd sweep and that night I lost more mucus and my "bloody show". Saturday came and I went to bed feeling that things could happen soon and I was right. At 2am I woke up and when they say when you're in labor you will know, you know. The contractions this time were much stronger and while my husband slept I did my best to pace and breathe. Kyle woke up around 6am and he took care of me making sure I had water and healthy snacks and played relaxing music until around 10am when we decided it was time to go to the hospital.

When we got there the nurse told me I was only 1cm I was so devastated since I had going through contractions for eight hours already and I was sure they would send us home, but the monitors reported my contractions coming fast and hard, so my doctor came in and when he checked me he said I was 3cm, so he decided I should stay. An hour later I was almost 6cm and because things were moving along so quickly he decided we should break my water. That's when the contractions got super painful, so I decided to get an epidural and it was AMAZING. I felt zero pain and could still walk to get up to use the washroom, so Kyle and I just hung out and waited. When I got to be almost 10cm with just a lip left to dilate I could tell something was changing because I could feel the contractions and some pain again. They told me when I felt the need to push and pressure to tell them, but I never felt any sensation like that at all. I thought maybe it was because of the epidural, but little did I know it was because baby was not far enough in my birth canal.

I pushed, and pushed, and pushed. She was stuck on my pelvic bone and she was face up and oh my gosh was it painful. Apparently epidurals don't get rid of bone pain. Everyone was yelling PUSH and I tried and tried every position and then they tried every vacuum thing, but nothing was working. The pain got so bad that I started puking after every contraction and shaking and couldn't really breathe through the contractions anymore, so they gave me some oxygen and aother Doctor came in and tried another type of vacuum thing to pull her out and it didn't work. I pretty much started begging for a c-section and couldn't wait another minute to get a spinal and have no more pain.

This is where not having a birth plan saved me. It was chaos. It was shift change, so the room was full of nurses, I was in so much pain, and my poor husband was beside himself helpless watching the whole terror of the day unfold with no control. If I sound dramatic, it was.

I got the spinal and was just so out of it from that point on I didn't care about much else than not being in pain anymore it was all such a blur and once they started operating on me my body went into shock and my jaw and arms started shaking and trembling so bad that I thought I was going to break my teeth off. To top it all off my sweet baby was too big to fit through the incision and she tore my uterus. She wasn't breathing when she came out because of the mucus in her lungs, so they whisked her off to get that out and it hurt her vocal cords a bit they said and her head was scabbed and bruised pretty bad from all the suctioning, but she was out and in the world with us. It sounds bad and weird to admit it, but I could only ask my husband if she was okay and when he said yes that's all I could care about. Kyle held her next to me while they sutured up my uterus and put 13 staples in my stomach and then we went off to recovery. I was still shaking and in shock, so I couldn't even really process the fact that we had our baby. I stayed there for a while getting my blood pressure back up that had dropped really low and then I had to go off for an X-Ray which is standard for emergency C-sections to make sure nothing is left inside you. Except they forgot to do it right after surgery, so they waited until my medications wore off and it was hell to have to be rolled onto a stretcher and taken down when I could feel everything again. By the time I got back to my room I was pretty much begging for pain meds again.

Scotlyn Nikol Bailey 8lbs 1oz was born at 8:26pm and I didn't get back to my room and able to hold her until midnight. Kyle laid her down next to me and she latched right on and breastfed like she was born to do it. She slept on my chest that night and the next three consecutive nights we spent in the hospital. She developed jaundice because of the trauma to her head, but thankfully we were allowed to take her home after four nights in the hospital & her newborn screening tests came back with potential concern for her thyroid, but the re-testing results came back good, such a relief!

This is where I gotta really give my husband props. I had an IV, compression things on my legs, and was pretty much 100% useless and he did not leave my side. He slept on a fold out chair next to me, he helped me to the washroom, he did it all. I didn't leave my room for three days and he made sure I always had anything and everything I needed and helped me do everything I could to care for our baby. I was a mess and he was amazing. His parents also live on the same street as the hospital and would bring us food every day, so we didn't have to eat hospital food which was so nice!!

So, that's pretty much it! Despite the fact that it was the worst day of my life, it was also the best day and it's true when they say you'll forget because I would hands down get pregnant again tomorrow if I thought my body could handle it haha. We have so much love for our girl and I am so excited to add more munchkins to our home!! My next pregnancies will have to be done by cesarean too because of the tear to my uterus and they said I will only be able to have maybe two more pregnancies, but I know each one is a blessing, so we will take each one as it comes!!

Maternity Pictures

I'm so behind on posts that tomorrow my little lady is one month old and I still haven't shared the maternity pictures from when I was 37 weeks pregnant. I don't want to skip any steps in her journey into the world, so I am going to go back and talk a little bit about month 9 of being preggo, by far my least favorite.

Now that I have my daughter in my life I think I can safely say that I will enjoy my next pregnancy even more because even though you know you get a baby at the end, you, or at least I didn't fully get it and how amazing it is that I grew this little miracle in my body for nine months and is worth everyday and every symptom. I never had a difficult pregnancy, not much in terms of morning sickness, or other symptoms besides exhaustion until the final stages. I had an active uterus, so I had tons of Braxton Hicks that landed me in the hospital once and put me on edge thinking I was at risk for premature labor. I went off work sick on April 10th and I didn't go into labor until one day after my due date on April 25th. Little did I know, I really needed that time off to relax and rest more than I ever thought, but more about that in a later post where I'll talk about my labor.

Like I said, these pictures were taken when I was 37 weeks. A friend of mine took the pictures for us and then I edited them using the program Lightroom! I love seeing pictures of my mom pregnant it's so cool to see pictures of her as a young mom and I love seeing the styles of clothes she used to wear too, so I am so happy my kids will have these pictures to look back on and see us as a young couple getting ready to become parents!

I got all of my maternity clothes from Thyme maternity including this dress. I tried on every dress in the store and this is the only one that made me feel like I hadn't just gained a bunch of weight and was trying to squeeze into a dress. I love that there is two layers to it, so it hid my bulging belly button and any extra cellulite my butt cheeks accumulated in late pregnancy and it was perfect spring colors! Thyme always has great sales and I ended up getting an online coupon for 50% off any item in the store, so it ended up being so cheap and I am sure I will wear it again someday!

Dress: Thyme Maternity // Coat: Sheinside // Shoes: Aldo 

* I am wearing my Euronext 18" extensions in Blonde Frost from Sally beauty

Third Trimester Truths

Pregnancy is anything but glamorous. You can dress it up and you can take it out, but as soon as you get me home I am straight into full back undies, baggy sweats, and cotton bras with zero under wire to curl in and watch television for the rest of the evening. My poor husband takes it like a champ.

 In fact, last weekend I had a mini meltdown packing up all my usual push ups which no longer fit, shedding a tear as I stuffed them away and replaced them with my new very comfy and practical, but not very cute nursing bras.

A big shout out to Thyme Maternity store because without them I would be lost. It is the only place I've done any maternity clothes shopping, but its truly the only store I need. I have got 4 pairs of the cutest stretchy pants to wear to work, the comfiest pajama pants I've ever owned, bras and undies and a couple of really cute sweaters there since I got too round for some of my old duds and I am so happy with everything. Plus, they have great sales... I got one pair of pants for 9 bucks & the bras are only about 30 dollars and they give you a coupon for 15 off if you get undies too!

As I delve deeper into my third trimester there are many things I am grateful for starting with my amazing doctor who personally returned my call this week to address a concern I was having....

I've been getting this stabbing pain in my right shoulder blade that worsens the more I sit, so its really great that I sit most of my day at work... not. Living in the age of Google can be such a curse because I was convinced my gallbladder was under attack, but it turns out that if there isn't enough room for your uterus than your ribs will separate up to 3 inches. I have been trying some new stretches and weekly chiro and massage appointments, so I hope it lessens because o.ma.gawd its painful.

None of my coats fit anymore which is really annoying since its minus a hundred in Canada these days and I really don't want to spend money on an over sized coat, so instead I'm hoping some over sized scarves will do the trick for the rest of the winter. However, my outside activities will be more limited now, so I guess its a good thing my husband got my treadmill up and running last weekend!

Eye cream. Where do I even begin. I never really understood it before, but after someone at work said they knew I was pregnant before I announced it because "pregnant women get poofy eyes" I started to kind of feel like were poofy even if they didn't really look it. So, I went out and got this little gem and I keep it in my fridge. The metal rollers on it feel really great, so whether or not the cream does anything just the placebo makes me feel better.

I feel like I get very little sleep these days getting up almost every hour, so maybe that's god preparing me for a newborn, or its my subconscious making sure I am getting up to pee so I don't end up with a UTI which I guess is very common in the later stages of pregnancy. I am 30 weeks this Friday which sounds like such a huge milestone to me! I need to get it together and take some bump pics soon because I don't have very many so far at all!

I have 8 weeks left of work and the countdown is onnnn!
I continue to crave sweets, but that's pretty normal for me.
I am still reading Bringing up Bebe.
I have recently stopped using my pregnancy pillow (for now) because its hard to climb over when I get up to pee 3000 times in a night.
I am back to having the occasional nap on my lunch hours & to being more thirsty like in my first trimester.
I miss rare steak.
I am feeling more and more ready for her to get here every day that passes.

A Letter to a Lady I've Never Met

Today would have been my sister's 30th birthday. She passed away seven years ago in a single car accident on March 1st 2008. Every year on her birthday I have celebrated with dinner, drinks, spa days, anything to try to do something in her memory, but also selfishly make me feel better.

This year I wanted to do something different. A lady I've never met, but who works in the same hospital recently lost her son. I put together a little healing pack and wrote her a letter. I thought I would share this letter on the blog today in hopes of sending love to anyone else out there right now suffering from loss and the pain of grief.

Today I will remember my sister and also think of all others suffering from loss and pain.

Hello,

Although we've never met, I feel connected to you in way that only someone who has experienced loss would understand.  I could never begin to imagine what you are going through, but I have watched my mother relearn to navigate life the past seven years after losing my sister.

Today would have been her 30^th birthday.

I wanted to reach out to you to try and offer some words of hope because I know the journey you are facing is not easy and I still see it in my mother’s eyes. Seven years later, there are good days and there are bad days, but as you go along I hope you allow yourself to never feel guilty for being happy, for laughing, or for going a whole day without being sad. You are still here and that matters to so many people. I hope you allow yourself to feel your grief and take all the time you need to begin your way through the storm because, although you will not be the same person that walked in, you will come out of this with a new understanding of life, loss, and love.

I know that seven years after losing my sister I have a heart that is still wounded, a wound that has and will continue to close over time, but it will always leave a very deep scar that reminds me not only of the journey of life without her, but of her life.

I asked my mother for advice on what I could include in your “healing pack” and she said very soft Kleenex, the advice to allow yourself to stay in bed all day and cry when you need to, and something that smells good because for some time after her loss nothing seemed to smell good anymore.

I hope these small tokens of my love and hope for you can bring you a moment or two of peace knowing someone out there cares about you and what you’re going through.

Your friend,

Katie

My Pregnancy Journey

Reading blogs like Coffee & Crumbs during my pregnancy gave me lots of ideas and insight into the lives of moms and I loved searching for, and reading, blogs written by real moms about their pregnancy, so since I figured I would share my best and worst moments, the raw deal of my first two trimesters some of which I've already talked about a bit, but I figured I'd just take the whole thing from the start.

A year ago from this day my husband and I were still living with my in laws which we did for about a year saving for a house. I did not have my full drivers license. And we both were in jobs making the best of situations we didn't love, not careers. 

Oh how much can change. First we bought our house and moved in March 2014. Shortly after, I got my license, but not without having a panic attack during my first test and hitting a car. It was awful, but I can laugh about it now.

Then I got a temporary position at a mental health hospital using my degree, which just became permanent last month (HOORAY) and Kyle had an interview for a job that he could use the skills he acquired getting his MBA (which he ended up getting YAY).

One day on the way home from work (we shared a car then & I looking back I have no idea how we survived without two vehicles for so many years) I asked him to stop, so I could buy a toothbrush because I didn't want to tell him at first I might be pregnant and get him excited just for nothing because I really wasn't sure, but he saw through my silliness and I ended up telling him what I was going to buy, so together we went into the drugstore nervously looking for the pregnancy tests. Kyle paced back and forth the washroom door asking every 3 seconds if he could come into the washroom while I kept saying I wasn't going to be pregnant and then all of a sudden two blue lines appeared! We were having a baby! We told our parents and then an hour later, because there were two in the pack I took another test, it said negative. So disappointing, but I looked and read online that if it's still early and you're drinking a lot of water this can happen. Kyle went to the store and literally bought me like 6 more tests because he was so nervous it wasn't accurate. They say the first pee of the day is always the best one to test, so I kept waking up and checking the clock all night until it was finally 4am and I took another test POSITIVE! I woke Kyle up to tell him and after that every test came back positive and we knew it must be true (even though Kyle was still nervous til we saw our Doctor). 

A lot of people asked how long we tried for, what tips, or things we did to get pregnant and honestly we couldn't be more fortunate in that department. I went off birth control when we got married and had been off of it for just over a year and we just said whenever it happens it happens, and without stress or over thinking it, it happened and the timing was (almost) perfect. We ended up deciding to keep it a secret for 5 months while I waited to find out about my job which brought on a lot of stress and was torture to hide something so exciting, but in the end I got the job and it all worked out perfectly. 

Soon after the 9 week mark, I woke up most mornings running to the washroom thinking that was going to be the day I was going to vomit, but I never did. It was just gagging and extreme thirst and tiredness. I kept a yoga mat in my office and slept for my lunch hour every day because if I didn't by 3pm I was falling asleep at my desk. This lasted for about two months. On top of that, as soon as I learned I was pregnant I cut out coffee because I read it can increase the chances of miscarriage, and I suffered with headaches and migraines for months until someone told me to start having a coffee a day and lemme tell you.... game changer! The headaches stopped. The best! I went through an acne phase too, I'm talking on my face, shoulders, chest... like I've never had before which they say is a sign you're having a girl and she's stealing your beauty... they were right :) 

One thing you will notice when you get pregnant is that if you find out what you're having you'll be met with a lot of overbearing opinions. Everyone will tell you you're ruining the true surprise of your life and whatever other silly things they think. Do what you want to do. For us, it was the best experience. As soon as we knew what we were having we felt so much more excited and closer to the baby. We could name her, plan her room, picture what she will look like, what kinds of activities we would do with her. It didn't ruin anything. It made it that much better. But that's just us, do what is best for you! Whatever you decide, your 20 week ultrasound will be amazing. Your baby will already have little features for you to fall in love with and it will touch your heart and make you want to not stop staring. 

Second trimester rolled in and it has been pretty great. The acne and headaches left and my hair and nails have never been thicker. On top of that, I've had the best cleavage I've ever had in my life, so it's kinda like getting to try out what a boob job would be like all for free! I have had some lower back pain recently and growing pains in my sides and things like that, but nothing too crazy. I also have started to notice I've started producing colostrum which I guess is a good thing, but totally freaked me out the first time I saw how yellow it was. 

With only two weeks left of my 2nd trimester, I can tell some things are going to change. I am not sleeping great at all between trying to remember to sleep on my side, so the baby gets oxygen & having to pee at least twice through the night it's just never a great sleep (having a nightlight in the washroom has been great at letting me stay half asleep while I pee). Plus, just being bigger is a struggle that will just get harder like putting on my boots or getting up and new back pain that I'm sure will get worse.

I am so lucky to have such an awesome husband who tells me every day how beautiful I look and how much he loves seeing my body changing for our baby. He makes me continue to feel sexy somehow despite gaining 10lbs so far and having a pretty big bump forming.He also gets down on the floor with me every night and stretches my legs out to help with my back pain and it really helps. Every time my legs are tight my lower back gets so sore. It pays marrying an athlete with this knowledge. 

Maybe it's vain, but I silently fear getting stretchmarks. I have some on my thighs from puberty I've always been self conscious of, so I really don't want them all over my stomach. I know its nothing I can really control and if it happens it happens, but every month that passes without them I count my lucky stars! 

I have no real birth plan and plan to totally go with the flow. If that means an epidural, a C section, or anything in between I am feeling confident it will happen the way it's supposed to and as long as our baby girl gets here safely I am ready! 

I've done pretty good at getting prepared early. Her room is almost finished, I have a stroller, diaper bag, and a stock pile of diapers. So, all we need now is a reservoir of sleep and our gal :)

If you missed my post on my favorite maternity must haves you can check it out here. I put lots of research into everything I bought, so although some items are a but pricier I think they will be worth it and I am lucky to have a good health spending account at work which covered our stroller for us! Also, I never buy anything online without searching for online coupons and even emailing the company to see if they can offer any discounts and you would be surprised how many do! 

To all moms, future moms, and pregnant women every where I commend you! It's not easy seeing your body change into something so unfamiliar, worry about everything you put in your mouth, listen to everyone's opinions on what to do and not to do, and worry about what type of mom you will be and on the flip side, thanks to everyone has given me great tips! xo

Q & A:

Cravings: Fruit
Aversions: Pickles, strangely
Favorite pregnancy book: Bringing up Bebe
Funny hormone stories: I always hear of pregnant women crying over things like sundays and pizza and I have yet to have my crying moment, but I do have full out fits of can't breathe laughter a lot these days which must be the hormones, but at least it's more fun than crying! haha
Can't live without: Bumpnest pregnancy pillow, I would never be able to sleep on my side without it
Progress: 26 weeks & 10lbs gained
Favorite App: Baby Center

Bejeweled White Dress

I bought this dress online from Sheinside. Their dresses are always so budget friendly and as you can see, so pretty! This dress is perfect for a summer or beach night date. If you're taking a hot vacay this winter, as most of us Canadians do, this dress would be perfect to get dolled up for dinner. I can't wait to wear it this summer for some baby + me pics. It will be so fun to get all dolled up with my baby girl. I will be 26 weeks on Friday and am starting to feel her move more and more. I have gained 10lbs so far which I think is part pregnancy and part over eating junk food around the holidays. I cannot wait for the treadmill I ordered on boxing day to get here, so I can build some strength up walking every day because it is way too cold to do anything outside these days! 

I hope everyone had an awesome weekend. We went and got a dresser for the baby room on Sunday which is the last piece until her room is done (except for gold letters to spell her name above the crib, but we'll wait to hang that when she gets here since her name is a surprise!) So excited to get it all organized and ready!

Happy Monday xo

*A big thanks to my sister Elly for letting me doll her up for this set of outfit posts!

Hand Chemistry Intense Youth Complex Review

You guys. Before I even got pregnant, so I'm talking 6+ months ago a company contacted me and sent me this hand cream to review and I feel awful that I am only getting to it now, but it might be good that it took me this long because I have been able to put it through the test. First off it is -30 in Alberta this winter, so if that's not enough to destroy my hands, couple that with working in a hospital and being pregnant, so needing to pee and wash my hands what feels like a kagillion times a day... my hands are being Torturrredd. BUT, this cream has the nicest light scent, rubs in soo good which is so important to me not to have to wait for cream to dry because I need to touch a lot of paper throughout the day AND it does wonders to my skin! I naturally have super dry skin and my hands get that like rough really aged look to them & this cream totally brings them back to life!

Check out their website here to get the full scoop on it's deal and how awesome it is and go out and get some ASAP. They sell it at Shoppers in Canada I do believe! It will be a staple in my purse for years to come and am so I got introduced to it!

Black Leather Maxi & Red Lips

I am the furthest thing from a good photographer. I bought a decent camera DSLR camera a year ago and still have no idea how to use it. I also do not edit photos. If I did I would probably be able to narrow down and pick my fav of some of these outfit pics I took of my sister, but it was just too hard! I was 12 when my sister Elly was born, so when I look at pictures like these with her way too amazing curls and perfect skin I just die... how did my little baby sister turn into such a beauty? And I don't just mean her looks she is seriously the most kindhearted sweetest person I've ever met. Can you tell I'm obsessed with her??! 

I bought this dress at H&M the day she was picking out her back to school clothes and then I found out I was pregnant and I didn't have a chance to wear it before it didn't fit anymore, so I just had to get someone in this dress and take some pictures! The necklaces are from Aldo and are so easy to wear again and again with just about anything!

Today is my last of the every four week prenatal appointments with my doctor meaning after today I start going every two weeks.. doesn't that seem crazy!? I am so happy I chose a doctor in the town I work instead of live in because what the heck.. how do people work and make time to see a doctor every two weeks!? It's also crazy because that means my third trimester is beginning soon ahh. I've started decorating her room, so I will post some pics soon! xo

Forever 21 Harlem Pants

This cropped top was obviously being rocked pre- pregnancy, but I was dreaming of a beach vacay the other day and I remembered these pants and how perfect and comfy they would be to bomb around with a bathing suit top and a sun hat for an evening on the beach. The material is so silky and lightweight they are perfect summertime pants. I don't know why I didn't post this outfit ages ago, but as I enter into my third trimester it's fun to look back on these pictures and see how much my body has been changing!

Pregnancy has been really great with only a few minor downers. For a long time I had major headaches and migraines and I had quit coffee for four months trying to be the healthiest mom I could be, but then someone told me to re introduce caffeine and I did and just like that one cup a day kept the headaches away! I will quit again a few weeks before she is born, so that she doesn't come out crying for coffee, but for now it is making my day to day life so much better!

I am worried about the third trimester weight gain, not because i'll be chubby, but because of how hard it will be on my body, so I just ordered a treadmill, so I can start walking for half an hour everyday, I get massages every 2-3 weeks and I will start seeing a chiropractor next week to make sure my hips and all that are staying aligned. I think it's so important to take time out for yourself during pregnancy and make sure you're staying as healthy & happy as you can! Hope you're all having a great week xo